Money Coaching and The Valuable Lessons it Taught Me

Interested in Money Coaching? Take the Money Type Quiz and receive a free consultation!

My perspectives around money, personal finance, business, and my overall happiness have drastically changed in the past 8 months. I went from being anxious and hopeless at 23, living out a destructive self-fulfilling prophecy, to being a far more trusting and knowledgeable sole proprietor of My Big Rich Life! My long-time goal of being entirely independent is so close to being a reality, and it is all thanks to money coaching and becoming a Certified Money Coach (CMC)®.

I remember how confused and discouraged I felt every single day after graduating college. I felt crushed by student loan debt, couldn’t afford to pay rent, was overly strict with myself in terms of spending and saving, and felt that finances dictated my everyday decisions and activities.

Sure, at first I was thrilled to be in “the real world”, but quickly had my spirits crushed when the only jobs I could find were temporary, contracted positions. I thought it was okay at first. I thought it would lead somewhere, that an employee or CEO would see my potential. I came close at some points, but no job ended up fitting. I would either get laid off early (this happened twice), told I’d be given a paid position if I stuck out my contract (never happened), or told that they would stay in touch (never happened). Sometimes I would drive 2-3 hours to meet a new temp agent that would ghost me so quickly, for unknown reasons, I could barely get a “thank you for your time” in.

I constantly thought to myself, “…aren’t these people supposed to be helping me?”

One time I received a call from my boss telling me my last day would be tomorrow. I was shocked and confused as I had a contract stating the length of my job, but it was broken in a matter of minutes. I didn’t even know if this was legal, to be honest. Once my temp agent heard this news, she stopped calling me and reaching out with job offers. I don’t know if she was embarrassed that she had put me in that position, but it was me who suffered the most.

I was broke, receiving unemployment benefits, and looking for jobs that were only long-term. I was so sad and felt situational depression for months, hopeless that nothing would ever happen. I kept a document  listing all jobs I had applied to which simply made me more upset; the list would continue to grow and I remained jobless. I had also made the situation worse by turning down a long-term job for a temp-job in hopes it would have a different end result. Boy was my confidence taken for a ride and absolutely crushed. I cried or complained about my situation everyday. I didn’t know what to do and couldn’t see anything ahead for myself.

Little did I know that I was living a self-destructive cycle. Subconsciously, I didn’t believe in myself. I felt I was unworthy and incapable of receiving, having my own success, and being happy. I was living out the stories of my archetypes – the innocent, the martyr, and the victim. Why did I choose a contract job over a stable, well paying job after my awful experiences with temp agencies?! Why was I so resistant to my loved ones offering financial assistance? Why did I convince myself I couldn’t do anything I enjoyed as it cost money? I was making myself more miserable by the day…

If you asked me about these things last year, I would have told you that the stable job, despite it being a field of my interest, seemed mundane while the contract job was a field that I could maybe expand into. I would have said I didn’t like to financially rely on anyone but myself, that I was fearful of ruining my credit, afraid to pursue anything due to my debt, that I was an extreme budgeter, that I hardly gave anything to myself, and that I couldn’t find a stable way to receive. Now I know that I was acting like the wounded child: fearful, anxious, and dependent. Similarly, by not letting myself have anything that made me happy, I was shutting the door that would allow me to receive financial stability. I was unconsciously participating in a self-sabotaging idea that I didn’t deserve stability, or the potential for growth. I accepted that contract job fully knowing how it would end…and I was right!

I was lucky enough to find Money Coaching, a topic I knew nothing about, even as I sat through the first class. As the weeks progressed I became more curious and motivated; I felt potential in what I was doing. As my personal money history was picked apart, I slowly understood how I could develop my warrior and magician archetypes, and let go of the ones that were no longer serving me. It is so easy to fall into disempowering archetypes if you’re not paying attention to your own thoughts, actions, and behaviors. A big realization for me was that these archetypes aren’t who I am, they don’t make up my personality. Instead, they represent who I am at certain points in time. I still struggle with my issues directed towards money as it is a constant mental, behavioral, and practical challenge. I am working every day to better myself. Money coaching has made me far more aware about myself, my thoughts, my actions, and my potential, something I haven’t experienced for far too long. I know that working with others will only push me to work harder on myself.

Curious about your archetypes? Take the Money Type Quiz!

Before Money Coaching, I thought…

  • Money was the number one important thing. It would bring me happiness even if I didn’t care for my job.
  • Money was addictive, controlling, and I was unhappy without it.
  • Money made me feel powerful – I didn’t grow up wealthy and it wasn’t until I experienced having money that I felt powerful.
  • Money made me feel safe – as a kid, I didn’t often feel financially “safe”, so I try to avoid this feeling. I don’t like to be dependent on another person for my own safety. 
  • Money contributed to my self-worth. I had a toxic relationship, thinking I was nothing without money.
  • I didn’t deserve to be given/receive anything for myself. Money is why I can be passive and reluctant; to ask for help or having someone spend money on me made me feel like a burden.

Money Coaching Taught Me…

  • How to think and react differently about financial situations that, in the past, may have caused stress, anxiety, or guilt.
  • How to balance my passions with my work, thus bringing me more happiness and sense of fulfillment!
  • To be more trusting of the universe, of myself, and of the future.
  • To be aware of my learned, multi-generational, patterns/behaviors towards money. For example, I was saying the same thing to men about savings that my mother said to my father – “Why are you spending money on this? We don’t have that money to spend.” Just an observation, but it’s quite interesting if you ask me.
  • To accept support. There is a time and place for receiving and asking for help is important.  This one goes back to the multi-generational patterns as my father wasn’t one to ask for help either…I took a lot of similarities from his unknowingly.
  • Who I am, my self-worth, is not dependent on money. Wealth is created from the inside.

Money coaching is not for the faint of heart…you have to be ready and dedicated to change. If you’re not ready for change or not in a coachable mindset, you will not get the desired results. True commitment, and time, are what takes to see positive changes in your life. The process can be emotionally and mentally exhausting as we do a deep dive into your personal history, especially your memories in relation to money.

I ask you to take the Money Type Quiz and see which archetypes you are living with at this time in your life. I will provide a free 30 minute consultation to discuss these archetypes and how they may be creating challenges in your life.

 

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